Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside.
I heard you got a brain transplant and [...]
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, “Son, I have to talk with you.” [...]
