1.You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2.You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
3.When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult [...]
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes [...]
